Current Events

Monday Missives #9

I have spent most of the day trying to figure out what to post today. I had one piece mostly written and then I got so bored with it, I decided to scrap it (or at least table it for (maybe) another time). Then I started a bunch of random somethings but each time, one sentence in, I was like: “Seriously? That’s not a thing.” Then I thought about current events (except I have nothing to add to the discussion about the college basketball March Madness selection process and no opinion about whether or not North Carolina deserved to get in or if they only got in because their Athletic Director is on the selection committee even though he followed standard protocol, left the room during those discussions and recused himself from the vote). Then I thought about what else is going on in the world (except I was instantly exhausted by the mere thought of debating whether or not there is a double-standard in how we talk about (full-frontal) nudity in TV or film when it’s a man’s body (aka penis on last week’s episode of “The White Lotus” and last night’s episode on “The Righteous Gemstones”) versus a woman’s body (one of the questions I heard asked was what would happen if we talked about a woman’s vulva the way we talked about a man’s penis) but I will say that it’s good to know that almost nobody (there could be exceptions), whatever their gender, seems all too comfortable with perfect strangers pontificating about their real or fake body parts and ignoring just about everything else about them or the work they do) and then I thought about the one thing that was certain to be on everybody’s mind (because St. Patrick’s Day is not just a one day thing as evidenced by all the people I saw dressed up in all kinds of green outfits ordering off of special St. Patrick’s Day menus all weekend).

No closer to having something to write about, I got up, and made myself a cup of tea. As I looked around, I realized how disorganized my house is so I picked up my phone, pulled up my calendar and blocked time with the heading “clean up downstairs and upstairs.” Then, hot cup of tea in hand, I went back to my desk and worked on the piece I had already scrapped because I thought maybe, just maybe, I could salvage it, only to get real with myself (which usually happens when I hear myself think about what other people will think about it and start writing it with that in mind vs. what I actually want to say) and admitted to myself that I was trying to force a solution. That’s when I stepped away, put on my scarf and a hat (but not a coat) and left the house to take a walk (because that’s what I do when I get that far up into my head…I get outside and ground myself back into the world beneath my feet and around me). Except it was colder outside than I thought and I was not dressed warm enough, which I did not fully appreciate (because I was still very much in my head) until I was at the bottom of the big hill where the wind blew harder. Instead of turning back, I decided to keep going (even if it meant that I would cut my walk short and be back at my desk after only twenty minutes, not thirty or forty). Even though the walk was shorter than usual, it still did what it always does. It cleared my thoughts. Or at least, it shifted them. Which is why, when I turned up the street to head back to the house, I thought about one of the coolest moments of my weekend.

While I was working on my laptop in the sunroom on Friday afternoon, I caught sight of a deer. It stood next to the bird feeder and unabashedly scarfed up birdseeds, checked the bird bath for water and perused the rest of the flower bed for other tasty morsels. Needless to say, I immediately stopped what I was doing, made my way over to the window and sat down on the floor next to my row of succulents. Then I hung out with this beautiful animal for at least ten minutes. At one point, I even put my hand up against the window pane. No matter what I did, she did not move. She just stood there. And for that whole time, I did not think about anything.

At the end of my walk, with my house in view at the top of the hill and my fingers stiff from the cold, the calendar reminder for my “clean up downstairs and upstairs” time block popped up on my screen. And I promptly ignored it.

I’m sure there is some kind of life lesson in there somewhere but I am too busy to think of one.

Meals Out: Towards the end of the week, I was in my feels and I knew I needed to be around my people so I had family time with my bestie and her two daughters at Grand Buffet on Friday night. On Saturday, I returned to Manolete’s (this time I had the quac and the enchiladas—a definite winner) to have dinner with another bestie. And on Sunday, I met up with yet another bestie at El Centro for a late lunch, and had the chicken quesadilla (ps-their chips and salsa are hands-down excellent). Special (drinks only) shout out to The Wine Room and Vibrissa.

Listening (voice): I was too busy recording and editing audio to listen to audio.

Listening (song most likely on repeat): Love, The Something Specials and Taylor Olin. (This is the perfect combo for my current vibes. Not much else to say about it).

Watching: The Righteous Gemstones Season 4 on Max. Next to “The White Lotus,” this is the best show currently out there imho. (btw I am stuck on the trio of old-ladies-that-are-not-old-ladies storyline in White Lotus. Not sure if it grates on me because it cuts too close to the bone of truth or because it does not. I will sit with that and I am sure I will have more to say about it—just not today.) Anyway, back to the Righteous Gemstones—this show perfectly captures the absurdity of God as Moneymaker or God as Show (and not as actual Spiritual Practice)—something I have been privy to far too many times. While I never attended a megachurch, I witnessed the same cookiness (at a much smaller scale and not as funny—more like, destructive) in all sorts of groovy, worship led by a rock band or DJ, “come as you are until you actually come as you are and then we will edge you out because you’re being way too real aka messy for us” churches to not laugh, no, howl, at everything that happens in this show. And of course, Baby Billy (played exceptionally well by Walton Goggins, who is having a definite moment!) is just the best…he is the epitome of this universe. While I am sad this is the last season, I am excited to see how far Danny McBride and Jody Hill are taking this to go out with the biggest of big bangs. Based on the first episode featuring Bradley Cooper (!) and the second episode featuring jet packs and Walton Goggins’ penis (as I said, more full front male nudity to debate), I am sure this season will crush it. Hard. Oh, and how could I forget: BJ spinning effortlessly (upside down) on a pole—not for show but for a killer core strength workout—is a delight…because there is nothing like it. #iykyk

Reading: Lots of reading for my next training weekend; learning more about how/where we hold (developmental) trauma in our bodies and how we can release it.

Most Hours Logged Doing: On Wednesday, a dear friend pointed out to me that I had not taken a full two days off in almost two weeks and suggested I might want to do that. I knew she was right. And I knew that’s why I was getting into my feels even though I pretended (to myself) I was not and that, if left unattended, it could spiral down in that sneaky “you’re fine, everything is fine, no really, it’s fine, just ignore it” kind of way. So, I decided to shut my laptop and leave space to see friends, have fun, and, maybe, take a nap? Well, I did not nap (I did try on Saturday even though I am incapable of napping except when I am lounging on my friend’s couch in Queens—something about that comfy cocoon helps me relax so much that I close my eyes and drift off) but I did hang out with a bunch of my friends, got lots of hugs, and had tons of laughs. I am so grateful for the community I have. As Barbara used to say: “Go where the love is and get some God with skin on.” That’s the kind of God concept with which I can do business...spiritually speaking.

Monday Morning Meditation: 3.17.25

“Hope is an embrace of the unknown and the unknowable, an alternative to the certainty of both optimists and pessimists. […] It’s the belief that what we do matters even though how and when it may matter, who and what it may impact, are not things we can know beforehand.” — Hope in the Dark, Rebecca Solnit

Bonus: Mr. Squirrel visiting for a sip of water.