Light Works
Tuesday Tidings #17
I walk down the tree-lined street. A group of kids laugh as they jump in and out of the remaining snow piles in the small patch front yard outside of their home. Crusty remnants of snowbanks form hard edges along the sidewalk. The sun sets behind the low-rise row houses and I walk, one step at a time, toward the end of the block and into golden hour.
With my head bowed, my eyes focus on the sidewalk below to ensure I do not step into a stray dog poop pile. I am in deep thought. Not about anything specific. Possibly about what I will write about. Maybe about what I need to do when I get home. Either way, this walk is meant to clear my mind, so I allow the thoughts to pass through without holding on to any one of them too tightly.
Mid-stride, I come to a screeching halt.
Shimmers of light dance across the concrete sidewalk squares. Rounded, but also kind of oblong, this is specific kind of sparkle is very familiar to me. My lips widen into a big smile.
This is the sparkle that forms when light hits a discoball just right.
Last week, after 16” of snow encased my car, plans changed, and appointments canceled, I found myself in yet another surrender. After weeks of resisting it, I was willing to embrace it.
Slow down, trim down, and focus in to make the things you want to make and say the things you want to say, not to achieve a specific result, but because they are inspired ideas. Trust your inner God GPS aka voice to guide you.
Or, as my reading said it this morning: “Trust in the badass power of the light.”
Somewhere along the way, I forgot that. I got very, very busy doing a million things at a breakneck speed to find the one thing, the magic thing, that would get me a certain result.
But trying to reverse-engineer back from a desired outcome has never, not even once, worked out for me. If anything, it has taken me off into so many different directions, I got stuck with no idea of how to move forward.
While it was important for me to start somewhere, anywhere, when my job ended almost two yers ago, I became enamored by the unbound freedom of creativity. Afraid of being boxed in, and really, afraid of failing, I resisted some of the discipline (different from over-working), the strategy, of how I do what I do…not to get a certain outcome, but to ensure others (readers, listeners, etc.) know what they can expect. Add on top of that a mountain of energy that was locked up for decades, and boom, it was a perfectly whirling dervish of a storm that, at times, drove me instead of me guiding it.
Most of that was important. Some of that was necessary. But often, it meant that I forgot my “why,” lost my joy, and wandered off course—or worse, seriously considered giving up.
Which brings me back to the discoball.
By nature, the discoball is a beacon of hope. No matter how broken or whole, no matter the size, shape or configuration, the light never fails to hit some part of it just right. Without any doing, by simply being, it reflects that light out into dark places or, like in this moment, across a well-lit, familiar path through the neighborhood. It is the reason why I call this space (and my podcast) The Stories That Sparkle. It is why I shine a light on the women I know or have yet to meet. To me, everyone is a discoball, and each one of us has the capacity to shine a light so that one person out knows how to find their way home.
So it is no great surprise that a discoball always seems to appear when I least expect it, and not always when I most need it. Every time, no matter what’s going on with me or not, its unmistakable sparkly glitter brings me great joy. It reminds me of my “why.” It is an inspiration.
Fully surrendered to that North Star, and with my inner God GPS here to help me, I have a very clear direction. I know my way home.
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Meals Out: Ya’ll, I did not go out to eat once this weekend. Instead, I made the BEST creamy-tomato-spinach-(and a dash of parmesan)-pasta-with-a-side-salad-and-homemade-dressing dinner this weekend. The best part? I barely looked at the recipe. I have seen the culinary light.
Listening (voice): I came across The Feminine Rebellion podcast randomly on my Instagram feed last week. Curious, I listened to a couple of episodes, I appreciated hearing topics familiar to me discussed in a new-to-me voice. Disclosure: I have no experience with Natty Frasca, how she does embodiment or her somatic approach, so this is not an endorsement of her program; I just wanted to shout out a podcast talking about women in midlife and offering short (episodes are less than 30 minutes long) intros and pep talks about connecting to the body and the power of pleasure in its broadest definition. You know the deal…take what you like and leave the rest. (Link to show on Apple Podcasts).
Listening (song most likely on repeat): Very unlike me to watch any of episodes of American Idol, but I did. One of the singers who auditioned in the early rounds really stood out to me—Mor (it’s a shortened version of his full, given name). So, I looked him up and came across this song of his. I picked it as a fave because it has thatraspy vocals, singer-songwriter guitar vibe that hits my inner discoball with a light that works me. Regardless of what does or does not happen for him on the show, Mor is a promising talent. (Link to song Apple Music). Sidenote: The song he performed (and also wrote) in his audition, Strong, is also worth a listen (the story behind it is that his mom was murdered by his dad when Mor was only 2 years old).
Watching: Finished Breaking Bad and just started a re-watch of Better Call Saul. In between, I also squeezed in Murder is Easy (an adaptation of a lesser-known Agatha Christie book) on Amazon Prime with BritBox subscription (of course). It’s a season of two episodes, a very easy on the eyes light in the late night hours when I was tired but could not quite fall asleep.
Most Hours Logged Doing: Eeek. I was busy catching up on admin, editing pod episodes, and applying for things so I did not work on or release a new episode of the Discoball Tour docu-series on Friday. Will try again for this Friday...make that my one thing for this week. Stay tuned! Otherwise, I enjoyed the warmer temps, went on lots of walks, and felt the sunbeam light on my face. Really overjoyed by that spring foreshadowing.
Tuesday Morning Meditation: 3.2.25 (YAY! March! Spring is almost here!)
Shine on, shine bright and dance below the great discoball of life.
Is there a topic you would like me to write about in a Tuesday Tidings? Cover in a podcast episode? I am curious about what you’re curious about so leave a comment below or drop me line.