Own It to Release It

Tuesday Tidings #2

The Rule of Three strikes again.

In less than one week, three different people in three different ways and in three different contexts brought one thing (the same thing) to my attention. Not so much about me but for me. And each time, no matter where or with whom I was, my immediate response started with a polite glare, a large gulp while my throat tightened up, my belly burned, and my heart rate jumped. Three times, back to back and only days apart, in response to the same one thing.

And each time (the first time after and the last time during), I thought to myself, “Hella, you might want to look at that.” Because…what if there is another way?

And there is another way—one that I already know and get to choose (or not).

When I feel that kind of energy rise up in me that is directed at something or someone outside of me, it is an indication of something (a thought, a feeling, an attitude or a belief) that I would really rather not admit even to myself and certainly not, out loud, to anyone else. I mean, why risk being turned out?

Now, I do not need to tell everyone (as in, get into the specifics right now, right here, in this post) in order to admit or own the thoughts, attitudes and opinions that came up—my judgement (of someone else and really, of myself), my fear (of not getting what I think I need or what I believe I might be owed), my pride (of being better than someone else to cover up my pride in reverse which tells me I am worse than I am), or my jealousy/envy (of what someone else has that I want for myself but believe, deep down, I will never get because there is not enough to go around).

I do however get to share all that in the safety of some very key relationships. There, in that container, I can choose to admit the not very pretty (but also not really thaaaat awful) and certainly totally human truth of who I am. And, in the process, I get to experience being loved for who I am (warts and all) and not who I pretend to be (ah yes, this is my theme on repeat over the last…six? nine? no, six-hundred-twenty-four months (aka 52 years)).

So that’s what I did. I shared with my peeps and in so doing, I owned all of it. Really, I owned me.

As a result, I was able to…not let it go, per se, but not let it rule my next (re)action, or lead to some not very good decisions aka shutting down or leak out sideways at someone who may or may not have anything to do with any of this aka a defiance directed at someone else which is really a disrespect of myself.

That kind of transparency within a safe container speeds up the whole process, and gets me past the need to prove anything or to fight anyone (including myself). It feels kind of like letting air out of a balloon. Pfffft…And that pfffffft sound is an awesome descriptor for letting all of it (the judgment, the need to be good (enough), and the fear of getting passed up, passed by or shut down) go.

When I own who I am, it changes how I spend my time, where I focus my creativity, and why I form my thoughts. Owning who I am means I can use my energy to support the way I want to live—like driving through the countryside in the warm sunshine with the car top down—and not to cover up the things I think I need to hide. And that means I have a lot more energy to grow the way I want to love—big with an open, honest and willing heart.

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On a side note—the Discoball Tour Docu-Series is officially up and running. It’s a definitely a risk for me and a continued step out of my comfort zone.

Speaking of pushing into and past our (dis)comfort zones…in last week’s episode of the podcast, Becca and I have a wonderful conversation about the healthy kind (versus the other kind) of enduring as part of growth. Anyway, if you’re curious about the docuseries, you can start with the first two episodes (links below) which lead up to my conversation with Becca

You’re invited to subscribe to my channel on YouTube and get notified when new episodes release…like the one coming out this week which will give you some insight into what was going on with me after I spoke to Becca and before I sat down to record with Stephanie, my next guest in Nashville (that podcast episode comes out tomorrow, aka Wednesday).

And please do me a small favor…

…and help me get the word out about all these amazing women’s stories.

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Meals Out: I spent the weekend (mostly) north of Atlanta to attend a women’s retreat that celebrated its 30th anniversary. WOW! So, I all my meals were meals out. And to honor my usual Sunday brunch tradition of Steve’s Breakfast at Water Street Kitchen, I had two eggs scrambled, bacon and a side of potatoes at Rising Son on Thursday and, as part of my possibly maybe visit to Germany, I enjoyed a bratwurst and sauerkraut at the Troll Tavern in Helen.

Listening (voice): This week I listened to Channels with Peter Kafka (link to Apple Podcasts). I will be adding this into my semi-regular rotation. Great info and discussion on the convergence of tech and media.

Listening (song most likely on repeat): Not really on repeat but I heard it this morning while driving around with a bestie and just had to include it here: Beautiful Girl by William Fitzsimmons.

Watching: Nothing new since last week when I finished up Season 2 of Karen Pirie. So great. (I mean, I did love Season 1 a little bit more but they did manage to avoid too much of a sophomore slump with Season 2).

Most Hours Logged Doing: Lots of

Tuesday Morning Meditation: 11.18.25

I will let go of the story I tell myself before it gets ahead of me, on top of you, and in-between us.

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Is there a topic you would like me to write about in a Tuesday Tidings? Cover in a podcast episode? I am curious about what you are curious about and would love to hear from you so leave a comment below or drop me line.