Too Many Thoughts

Monday Missives #4

Last year, one of my besties sent me an amaryllis plant just before Christmas. After it bloomed, I cut back the stem and the leaves, kept the bulb in the dirt in the planter, and moved it into the den—a room I never spend time in. For over a year it sat, in a dark corner, and dried out. In fact, the top of the bulb got flaky and brittle.

A few weeks ago, it was bitter cold outside. Bundled up, I went into the backyard and refilled the birdfeeder. When I came back inside, and like I have done many times before, I walked past that planter. For no good reason, I grabbed it and placed it on the counter between my kitchen and the sunroom. Then I removed the flakiest bits off the top of the bulb and watered it. Every week. And then it grew. And grew. And grew. Huge. The two leaves, thick, massive, and arched, opened wide like two arms ready for an embrace. And the stem, thick and long, stretched toward the sun with such vigor, the visible part of the bulb tilted along with it.

So, I moved the planter into the sunroom where, surrounded by windows and skylight above, it would get even more light from more directions. Not longer after, two blooms emerged. Closed up tight, they pulled in opposite directions. Then the bloom facing the windows opened. Soon after, the bloom on the other side released as well. And then two smaller blooms appeared in the center, and each of them pointed in opposite directions from each other in-between the other two blooms. A sort of compass took shape. And then, over the weekend, one of the smaller blooms opened up. Now, I’m just waiting for the last one to give way.

When I sat down to write today’s Monday Missives, I had a bunch of deep thoughts to share about how, even when everything appears to be dark, just below the surface, beauty continues to grow; and about how, even when the light is diffused, strength will emerge when it is time; and about how, even when things appear to be hard and closed, given a little bit of time and a lot of care, they open and reveal themselves to be soft.

But then I thought, “who wants to hear any of that the day after the Super Bowl?” I mean, today most of us are busy making sense of that Seal commercial (I thought it was creepy, but not as creepy as the head-shaped-as-cowboy-hat commercials). Or wondering about the sensuality (or not) of mayonnaise (How many people, ok, how many younger people even know what that commercial is referencing? The original “When Harry Met Sally” scene was risqué for its time but was this commercial equally risqué for today? Wait, did I just prove the advertisers right about the demo that commercial was meant to appeal to? Probably. But will that make me want to buy that mayo? Nope.) Or marveling at the unstoppable “brotherly shove” (yeah, I got nothing there) or noting that this game was won “in the trenches” (yeah, got nothing there either). Or pondering if Tom Brady is a robot (even if he is not, he seemed to be in almost every commercial). Or penning think pieces about all the heartfelt (and commercialized) monologues and voiceovers about unity, love and compassion in-between TikTok commercials (which were very effective, maybe more effective—wait, what was more effective: the monologues or the TikTok commercials?) because this is the one chance (maybe) to express those ideas and encourage those values because this is the one time (probably) all year, when almost everyone (but also not everyone) is gathered around a TV and watching the same thing at the same time.

But then I thought, “who wants to hear any of that either?” Yeah, too many thoughts. Too. Many. Thoughts.

Meals Out: Pizzoco (been a while since I have been that and it is so freaking good—I shared the “Winchester” with a friend; it was a delicious) and Old Town Diner (again)

Listening (voice): Local Hour: Super Bowl LIX Reaction, The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz (see above)

Listening (song most likely on repeat): Let’s Be Still, The Head and The Heart (I mean, the name of the band say it all, no?)

Watching: Somebody Somehwere on HBO aka Max. (Binged Season 3 on Saturday which came out in October 2024. The show struck a chord for me from the start. Season 1 came out just as I recovered from my first bout of Covid, and debated whether or not I should give up on writing before I even started. But I digress. I really love this show).

Reading: Nothing really. Unless you count scrolling through Instagram posts and reading the captions.

Most Hours Logged Doing: First recording session of the audio version of The Stories That Sparkle. Spoiler alert: in no particular or linear order, we cover osteoporosis, the Universe (which, for no good reason, we started to refer to as “they” because it contains multiple entities), and being ok with being awkward in front of people. Stay tuned.

Monday Morning Meditation: 2.10.25

Listening to what others say (not what I want to hear), keeping an open mind (not shutting it down), and engaging with what others think (not convincing them of what I believe), opens up another way for me to let it begin with me.