Live in Your Strength

Monday Missives #18

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Four years ago, when I still worked in corporate America, I asked a bestie for some suggestions about how I could grow in my approach to leadership at work. She suggested I take the Gallup StrengthsFinder (now called CliftonStrenghts) assessment. It was something she had done when she worked for a Fortune Global 500 company that encouraged (or was it required?) annual professional development, which led her to the book Strengths Based Leadership. The book is based on over 30 years of research, study of more than 1 million work teams, interviews with over 20,000 leaders and conversations with more than 10,000 followers to find out why they follow who they follow and I suppose, why they do not follow others. (And no, I am not getting paid by Gallup to promote any of this. I do however believe in giving credit where credit is due and reflecting what this is accurately.)

Her suggestion was that I start the exploration of being a better leader (aka manager of people) at work by doing deep dive on myself to uncover and identify my own strengths. Because being a good leader of anything, at any level, and for any one (including myself) begins with knowing more about me.

From a personal growth and development point of view, I will be happier when I align what I do with my strengths. In that scenario, I will feel less stressed, have more energy, and improve my overall well being because I am not constantly doing tasks that are not a natural fit for me. Those tasks don’t flow out of me. I am squeezing this round peg into a square hole and any time I have to do those things, I feel out of sorts, miserable, or worse, stupid and useless. My perfect example is Excel spreadsheets. Full of formulas, ratios, and graphs, it is a language my brain just does not speak, compute or comprehend. It is not my happy place and puts me in a state of anxiety that makes it hard for me focus and get the task done—or at least, get it done well. But when I play to my strengths, especially when someone else asks me to play to those strengths, everything flows. It is easy even when the work is hard.

From the (team) manager standpoint, knowing each individual’s strengths means I can assign the right tasks to the right person—the person best suited to complete that task. When you align tasks that way, you can build stronger, more effective teams that are nimble, flexible and collaborative. That’s why I asked a person on my team who loves Excel, knows how to build pivot tables with ease, and who joyfully plugs in formulas to build and design the necessary spreadsheets. She could get done in half an hour something that would take me all day (or not get done at all because I would keep avoiding it. It is a win-win-win: Your team is happy. Your boss (aka the execs) are happy. And you are happy.

Doesn’t all that make going to work every day sound a lot more freaking fun—for everyone?

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Over the weekend, I tended to my peony bush. Most of it was in full bloom and the heads, big and full, dropped down with some even touching the ground. At this same time last year, I was too consumed with other things (finishing my book’s first draft, Barbara’s rapidly declining health, and a shifting work situation) to pay much attention to my garden. Ignored and unattended, I let the peony bush kind of, well, rot.

So this year, with a much clearer head and present within my immediate environment, I made the time to clip the blooms, and care for the bush in real time. Between Friday and Saturday alone, I harvested almost everything and ended up with at least four, very full bouquets of exquisite, fragrant pink peonies.

In the course of all that, I “maximized” how I dealt with the ants that like to hide in the peony blooms (for the pro tip on how to do that, you will want to watch the “Behind the Scenes” clip I posted yesterday for paid subscribers). I used the same kind of thinking I employ when I create any of the systems I have in my life. Like the one I created for how I get to the gate at the airport any time I travel by plane. Over time, I worked out the most efficient process that accounts for variability and ensures the least amount of friction to get all the way from my house (an hour away from the airport) to the gate. This includes a deep dive into the best departure flight times, what time I leave my house, where I park my car at the airport, and which security checkpoint I use once I am inside the terminal.

As I clipped bunched together the peonies, and cleared out the ants, I thought about all that, and the more I thought about that, the more I thought about my top five CliftonStrengths. Then I thought, right, that’s what I’ll write about.

Below, in order, are my top 5 CliftonStrengths. Next to each strength, I include the meta-category Gallup uses to group and organize them. Those categories are: Executing, Influencing, Relationship Building, and Strategic Thinking.

Note: anything I pulled directly from the Gallup CliftonStrengths website is in quotes and italics below.

Hella’s Top 5 Strengths (FYI—6 out of my top 10 fall into Relationship Building—just sayin’):

1. Arranger (Executing): “You are a conductor. When faced with a complex situation involving many factors, you enjoy managing all of the variables, aligning and realigning them until you are sure you have arranged them in the most productive configuration possible. […] You are simply trying to figure out the best way to get things done.” (I attribute this one 100% to my German DNA. This is what pushes me to think about and plan ahead for how to get from my house to the gate at the airport with maximum ease and efficiency. I often confuse this one with #3 on the list—Maximizer—which is something different from being an Arranger).

2. Connectedness (Relationship Building): “Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it.” (yes, yes, and yes. In my spiritual practice, which includes time for prayer and meditation every morning before I do or say anything, I call that God, the Still Small Voice and/or the Creative Pilot Light—interchangeably or separately. Collectively, they form my concept of a Higher Power and my experience of spirituality. When I read the full summary of this particular CliftonStrength, it gives me the words to articulate, to just about anyone, how I see the world and my place in it. Maybe I’ll talk about some of that some more in a future post or on a podcast episode).

3. Maximizer (Influencing): “Excellence, not average, is your measure. […] You polish the pearl until it shines.” (I always mix this one up with Arranger. So, when I say I am maximizing, I am really arranging for optimal efficiency and ease. But when I am actually maximizing, I am focused on “how can I make and do this better.” It is key to my approach to anything I get my hands on. It is also why I edit, re-edit, finesse, obsess over, re-think, refine, and redo multiple times anything I produce before I put it out there into the world—and sometimes, even after I have already published it).

4. Empathy (Relationship Building): “You can sense the emotions of those around you. […] Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person’s perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person’s predicament—this would be sympathy, not Empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand.” (This is might be my favorite of my strengths. It reflects my genuine curiosity about people. It is the reason why I started a podcast. As much as I love to write, writing is something I have to do. It comes from a drive inside of me to get the words out in the best, most nuanced, clearest way possible. But writing is lonely. It is a very solitary endeavor. And while I can enjoy that, too much of that lone wolf-ness also pains me. Especially when the pile of words rip at the fibers of my soul as they come out of me when I write them down. I get very serious (and deep, no, heavy) when I write. But talking to people and asking them questions—now that is just plain fun. It is playful and light. It sparks joy. Partly because I never know exactly where the conversation will end up. Partly because I love to improvise on the fly which is a creative process that allows my goofy side to shine through. And mostly because I find other people to be fascinating. Their experiences always make me think differently about my own).

5. Developer (Relationship Building): “You see the potential in others. Very often, in fact, potential is all you see. In your view no individual is fully formed. […] When you interact with others, your goal is to help them experience success.” (Yep, this is the one, specifically, that made me a really good manager of a team in the corporate world. Really, any world. But it is also the reason why, too often, I fall in love with potential—in my personal life. Hence I have learned that I need to make sure I keep my head, butt and feet in the same place at the same time, stay in the here and now, and look at the reality of what is not the fantasy of what could be—and that means paying attention to what somebody does, not what they say).

Special Mentions (outside looking in or OLI for short):

6. Individualization (Relationship Building): “Your Individualization theme leads you to be intrigued by the unique qualities of each person. You are impatient with generalizations or ‘types’ because you don’t want to obscure what is special and distinct about each person. Instead, you focus on the differences between individuals. […] You hear the one-of-a-kind stories in each person’s life.” (I am not even kidding—this is for real my #6 CliftonStrength. It is why I type things like, “if you don’t fit in the box, then blow up the box” into my Notes app).

7. Positivity (Relationship Building): “You are generous with praise, quick to smile, and always on the lookout for the positive in the situation. Some call you lighthearted.” (This one makes me smile about myself, to be honest. And I also feel it deeply in my soul—like I said in the first episode of my podcast, there is enough dark, dark, darkity dark dark dark out there and I have made my home in the dark long enough…today, I am all about living in the light).

Looking over that list for the first time in a long while, it is so clear to me that there is no way I could do anything else with my life than what I am doing with it right now. Wait, let me rephrase that…It is no wonder I am so freaking happy doing what I am doing with my life. Every day, even with all the uncertainty surrounding all of it and even though the timing of reaching some kind of outcome or seeing a certain kind of return is unknown, I am working and operating in my inherent strengths.

That means I do not need to make them up. I do not need to fit myself into a box. And I do not need to speak a language (like Excel) that is totally foreign to me. Gallup may call them strengths, but to me, they are descriptions of key parts of who I am. And today, it is in those parts that I live as I work—happy, joyous and free.

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Well, now you know a whole lot more about me, and I still do not know anything about you! So, please—share your comments below, send me a message, or, if you prefer, take the poll below. One way or the other (or all three), I would love to hear from you.

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Meals Out: Three guesses—just kidding, obviously I went to Water Street Kitchen for brunch with a bestie and yep, as usual, I had Steve’s breakfast because, for the Arranger in me, taking out the guess work means I can be more present for other things (less mental clutter and one less decision to make). After brunch, we went to Palladin for a hang with another friend, and then I spent the rest of the afternoon sitting in another bestie’s backyard.

Listening (voice): Tbh, I mostly listened to as-of-yet unreleased, work-in-progress episodes of my podcast, The Stories That Sparkle. The Arranger and Maximizer in me demand that I hone, re-hone, and then hone some more before I feel an episode is ready—and that takes time. (I’ll talk more about that in future clips I post in “Behind the Scenes.”)

Oh, and here are direct links to my podcast on Spotify and Apple. It’s also available on YouTube and anywhere else you listen to podcasts. Please follow, subscribe, rate, and review. Thank you!

Listening (song most likely on repeat): One Thing, Lola Young. (Fair warning: This song is big time explicit (not that I think/assume you will be bothered by that; I just like to let people know, so they can make informed decisions.) It is also a great pop song imho. And I just love Lola Young. She is fearlessly raw and real…I hope this world does not chew her up).

Watching: Back to watching Poirot on Amazon Prime with BritBox subscription (I think all the new episodes for The Brokenwood Mysteries are out so now I wait until the next season comes out in…who knows when).

Reading: Books for school. (oh, did I mention I am a somatic practitioner-in-training? Well, if not, I did now. And I can tell you that my Connectedness, Empathy and Developer strengths (among others) are a big reason why I signed up for the training and want to pursue that as a part of the work I do—it’s where all of who I am now and who I will be tomorrow comes into play as one big whole…as much, if not more, as it does in all of the creative work I do.)

Most Hours Logged Doing: Editing, playing back, editing some more, replaying, and then re-recording an intro for a completed but not published podcast episode…phew, that Maximizer thing is no joke.

Monday Morning Meditation: 5.26.25

Am I acting in the spirit of love and service or in the spirit of arrogance and self-aggrandizement?

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Is there a topic you would like to hear me discuss? Cover in a podcast? Write about in a Monday Missive? I am curious what you are curious about and would love to hear from you.